Wednesday, 5 April 2023

Worst WWE Match Ever - 91 - Clowns R Us vs. The Royal Family - Survivor Series 1994

 91.

Traditional Survivor Series Match

Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy & Sleasy vs. Doink the Clown, Dink, Pink & Wink

Survivor Series 1994



Okay, maybe this is low hanging fruit. After all, what sort of expectations should you reasonably have for a match like this? Despite Jerry Lawler being a fantastic worker in his own right, his teammates and opponents don’t leave much room for hope here in terms of quality. It comes as no surprise that this match lives and dies depending on whether the comedy hits. Comedy, like music, and wrestling as a whole is subjective.. For example, I loved the match between Sami Zayn and Johnny Knoxville, because I grew up watching Jackass and it hit every note it needed to for me. But I could totally understand if someone didn’t enjoy it. I enjoyed the hell out of Wee-LC because it was a combination of hilarious moments with some terrific spots in it. The issue with this entry is the comedy doesn’t work for me. At over 15 minutes in length this makes for a fairly painful experience. 

The rules are that the little people can only wrestle the little people. In the back of my mind I had the faintest hope that maybe the Doink versus Lawler parts could be entertaining. However, I was quickly reminded that this was not Matt Borne’s Doink. 

I’ll give Lawler props for what is a very selfless performance considering how much of an idiot he has to make himself look. The story of the match is that there’s a bunch of shenanigans involving the little people that usually end up with Lawler being embarrassed. In response, Lawler tries to imitate the same strategy on Doink, and inevitably fails. Highlights include all of the clowns and the Royal Family running over Lawler one after the other; and Lawler climbing on the shoulders of one of his teammates, only for that teammate to collapse. Doink is the first man eliminated. However due to the nature of the rules, Lawler is essentially eliminated too because he can’t wrestle any of the little people. That doesn’t stop Lawler from being a presence in the match, as he interferes constantly to keep the momentum on his side and eliminate the rest of Clowns R Us. 


I think it makes it worse in that you can hear Vince pissing himself laughing all the way through. You just know this was his idea and he thought this was the funniest shit he’s ever seen. 

Just a short (no pun intended) review today because there’s not a lot to say about this. If you find it a harmless, fun comedy, then you may not agree with my ranking. But because this comedy style does little for me, all I got was a long winded unfunny match. And a match like this without the comedy is tedious. After the match Lawler takes all the credit (which in fairness, he deserved as he was clearly the reason his team won), which leads to the other 7 people in the match ganging up on him and humiliating him. 


Up next - "do you come from land Down Under?"

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